The days are long but the years are short.
As intern year comes to a close, I find it hard to process that it’s almost over. It seems like just yesterday I sat in some amount of dread anticipating the start, although I could not have asked for an easier first rotation. I started July 1 on a neuroradiology elective (easy because it was half-days and no one expected anything from the intern). I subsequently moved onto wards, where my first big challenge was figuring out how to use a pager. I finished Step 3 in October, before moving onto the harder part of my schedule, which included 1 month of ICU and 4.5 more months of wards (2.5 of which were back-to-back inpatient wards…no weekends…frown) Then, after a seemingly endless amount of time on Grady wards, it suddenly ended. It felt bittersweet, although surprisingly, a little more bitter than I anticipated.
Intern year was hard in some ways, and yet much easier than medical school in many others. Intern year was difficult in all the usual ways intern year is difficult: adjusting to the hours, endless cycles of discharging and re-admitting, and attempting to work within the confines of a broken healthcare system. More often than not, I felt like I was a glorified social worker.
Working through COVID obviously added another layer of complexity. For me, the two hardest part of working through COVID were:
- Signing death certificates of relatively healthy individuals who died prematurely.
- Taking care of hospitalized patients without families at their side due to visitation restrictions.
Because of the latter, I found myself spending so much time making many more phone calls than I think I ordinarily would have done.
In many other ways, intern year was much easier than medical school: no grades, no studying after work (although this will change next year; *cry*), understanding of my job and what tasks need to be completed (no more “anything else I can do?” nonsense), and increased efficiency.
I am thankful to have stayed at Emory for intern year. Not only did I gain a bonus year in a city I’ve now come to identify as home, I also had the benefit of an established friend group during the height of the pandemic. Also, it made the transition to resident so much easier. I already knew all the hospital systems, where to park, where to find the free food and coffee, where to find the best work stations etc.
One of my favorite parts of this year has been working with medical students and having the opportunity to advocate for them. I have a special fondness for medical students, maybe because I so identify with the plight of M3 and M4 year. Any time I felt burnt out on the wards, I felt like my team was blessed with a brilliant, enthusiastic medical student, which would replenish my own enthusiasm for my job.
I also leave intern year with a newfound appreciation for the beauty of a plain ‘ole ordinary day. Many times this past year, I felt like I lived in a gray zone with my patients, walking with them along a precipice between life and death. The smallest of things could tip them over the edge. I’d give family updates on the phone, or later on in the year, sit with patients’ families in person with a feeling of heaviness in the air. Yet at the end of the day, I’d leave the hospital and step out into the bright Georgia sunshine. How beautiful, how precious it is to live a normal day: to wake up, go to work, LEAVE the hospital, see friends, go running or cycling, and enjoy the humid summer or crisp winter air. What a miracle! This year, I feel I have truly learned the importance of finding joy in the everyday and celebrating the quotidian life.
Finally, I leave internship with 3 important lessons on creating a successful residency experience, some of which I know I’ve learned perviously, but have been crystallized this year.
- Be early (on time is late!).
- Every endeavor deserves 100% effort. Give it your all, but also work smart.
- Have fun, and if it’s not fun, make it fun.
Maybe see you later Grady.
With lots of love,
-Kristie
Vital Signs 